Good Golly Miss Molly
by ucsbdad
Summary: A short Caskett crossover from the universe of the Henson Company's Farscape.
1. Chapter 1

Good Golly, Miss Molly

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I not only don't own Castle, I don't own Farscape. Rating: K Time: Early season five of Castle.

**Author's note: The first fandom I ever wrote fanfic for was the Henson Company's Farscape some twenty years ago. So now I've written a Farscape/Castle crossover.**

Detective Kate Beckett heard the elevator door open and heard the distinctive sound of Rick Castle walking towards her desk. Next, she saw his hand put a cup of coffee on her desk and he sat in his chair.

She smiled as she picked up the coffee and took a sip.

"I bring you a cup of coffee every morning just so I can see you smile." He said with a grin.

Her smile brightened. "You know the smile is for you and not the coffee?"

His grin became a full smile. He looked around and then whispered to her, "I think this is going to be a great day, Beckett."

That idea was disproved by a bellow from Captain Gates' office. "Detective Beckett. Mr. Castle. My office. This instant!"

"Or not." Kate said under her breath.

Both hurried to Gates' office. She was standing behind her desk with a death grip on her phone. Castle wondered what the phone had done to upset her. He soon found out.

"I just got a phone call from Mr. Castle's friend, Mayor Weldon." Her glare intensified as she stared at Castle. "It seems another of his friends, Miss Molly Flanagan, of Miss Molly's Gourmet Ice Creams, has had a series of thefts. It also seems that Miss Flanagan is also a friend of Mr. Castle. So, the mayor had the bright idea that Mr. Castle, and my best homicide detective, should investigate a theft, which isn't even in my precinct."

The last part of the sentence was delivered in a high-pitched shriek that probably had all of the dogs in the area covering their ears and running for cover.

Gates continued to try to strangle the phone. "What are you waiting for? Get out of my office, solve the damned case and get back to your real work." As they left, she yelled again. "Detective Beckett's real work. Mr. Castle does no real work here."

They got out.

As they walked to her desk so she could get her things, she thought about Miss Molly's Ice Creams. Hers was the very best ice cream in New York. And the most expensive, by far. She had never had any until she and Castle had started dating. But even now, she felt that the very expensive ice cream was an extravagance.

She also thought about Miss Molly, who did her own commercials. She was a top-heavy blonde, who dressed in skimpy outfits and whose commercials were filled with double entendres. If Castle knew her, she was sure that he hadn't merely signed her boobs, he probably wrote a chapter of one of his books on them.

When they got in the elevator, Castle leaned over. "Beckett, I should explain about me and Molly Flanagan."

She cut him off. "There's no need, Castle. We both know we've been with other people before. We're a couple now. I trust you and I hope you trust me."

"Of course, I trust you, but…"

"No need to say anything. Now shush. The elevator is stopping and we're not a couple in public, remember?"

They drove to the offices of Miss Molly's Gourmet Ice Creams which was in upper Manhattan and took the elevator to the top floor where the offices were. An attractive, but slender and rather flat chested, receptionist greeted them with a professional smile.

"Mr. Castle? You're here to see Miss Molly about the thefts?"

"Detective Beckett is here about the thefts. I'm just tagging along."

"Go right in. Miss Molly is expecting you."

At first, when they walked into the office, Kate assumed that they were meeting some upper management type. She was grey haired, had laugh lines around her eyes and mouth, but was dressed in an obviously expensive suit. Kate thought she had probably been quite beautiful when younger. Then she threw her arms around Rick.

"Rick, it's so good to see you again. It's been way too long."

"It certainly has. Molly, I'd like you to meet Detective Kate Beckett, the best homicide detective in New York."

She hugged Kate as well. "So, you're Kate Beckett. You certainly are as beautiful as everyone says you are, and from what Bob Weldon says, you're smart, tough and dedicated as well." She released Kate from the hug. "Rick, don't let this one get away from you. She's perfect for you. Absolutely perfect."

Kate found her voice. "You're Miss Molly of Miss Molly's Gourmet Ice Creams?"

"Yes, I am. But you're wondering about the Miss Molly in all of the commercials, aren't you?"

Kate nodded.

Molly laughed. "She's Molly Flanagan as well and my granddaughter. It is her company too since she does own half of it. As far as the commercials go, well, when I first started out in…Let's just say it was back in the day, I did my own commercials since I didn't have the money to hire anyone then. If I do say so myself, I was pretty hot back then. When we started the new ad campaign a few years ago, my granddaughter thought it would be fun to recreate the old commercials and she volunteered to do them."

"So, she's a model?" Kate asked.

"Oh, no." Molly replied, smiling. "She's in her first year at Harvard Medical School. She's going to be an oncologist." She suddenly turned to Rick. "Rick! You haven't seen Molly since she was a child. How long has it been?"

Castle thought for a second. "Fifteen years as of last Christmas. The stores were all out of my favorites and you were kind enough to give me some."

"You and Detective Beckett must drop by sometime. I have some new flavors I'm testing. You two can help."

"Can we start right now?" Castle asked, almost drooling.

"Speaking of help, that's what we're here for. To help with a crime. What can you tell us about them?" Kate said.

"It started about six months ago. It was small scale at first, just a gallon or two, every other week or so. At first, we thought it was someone who was taking it for their own use, but about three months ago, we started losing fifty gallons or more with every third or fourth shipment."

"Why don't you explain your operation to us, Ms. Flanagan?"

"Please, Detective, call me Molly. Can I call you Kate?"

"Of course."

"We're a small company. We only sell in the New York City area, including Long Island, parts of New Jersey and Connecticut. We're serious about the quality of our ice cream. Between eight and twelve percent of it doesn't meet our standards and is put in plain containers and given to feed the homeless. Our only creamery is in White Plains, New York. Every day a delivery truck takes the previous day's ice cream and delivers it here to our distribution center which is across the street. From there it's put in smaller trucks and sent to the retail stores."

"Is there any common denominator in the thefts?" Kate asked.

"Yes, it's always from a truck driven by Harry Grau who is our regular driver."

"Isn't that your answer then?" Castle said.

"I thought so, but I rode with Harry for two weeks, every day. We drove straight from White Plains to here with no stops. I counted every box of ice cream myself and I personally locked the back of the truck with a padlock. Only I knew the combination. Four times when we got to Manhattan, fifty gallons of ice cream was gone and the lock was fine. I've put cameras in the cab and focused on the back of the truck. I've had the cameras examined by experts. They haven't been tampered with. No one came near the truck, but ice cream is still being stolen."

"Did the truck ever stop?" Kate asked.

"It stopped for traffic numerous times in New York City. You know what traffic's like, but the cameras would have picked up someone trying to break in."

Molly took them across the street to the distribution center. They found nothing suspicious. Rick and Kate headed back to the precinct.

Once in the car, Kate spoke. "You never signed either of their boobs, did you?"

"I tried to tell you." He smirked. "Are you jealous?"

"Massively. And of every woman you've ever dated, or whose boobs you've signed."

"You know I only sign one woman's boobs now, don't you?"

"Yes."

"This has got to be an inside job." Kate said, sitting at her desk back at the precinct.

"You don't really think that Molly is stealing from herself, do you?" Rick demanded.

"No, but I won't rule anyone out until I know they're not involved."

"But why steal so little ice cream? She's worth millions?"

"I didn't say she did, but fifty gallons of gourmet ice cream a couple of times a week could help out someone who was in a financial bind. I'm going to check for criminal histories of her employees, luds and their financial records."

Before Rick could answer, he got a phone call. The call was very one-sided.

"Gina, how are…."

"Of course, I remember. How…"

"I'm doing a bit of last minute…"

"Three days is fine. You know…"

Rick put down his phone and sighed. "That was Gina, reminding me that I have three chapters due in three days."

"And you haven't written a word?" Kate guessed.

"No, but I do have everything thought out in my head. I just need to get it written." He checked his watch. "I need to get going."

"Should I come over tonight?"

Rick shook his head. "I need to write. You have no idea what a distraction you are to me."

Checking that Gates wasn't in her office, she smiled and winked at him. "Oh, I have a very good idea."

Kate checked all of the employees, including both Miss Mollys, for criminal records. She found nothing. She called Burglary for any crimes with a similar MO. Nothing.

Since phones and financials wouldn't be in until tomorrow at the earliest, she decided to go home.

She walked into her apartment. She instantly realized something was wrong. There were people in her apartment. She drew her Glock and turned on the lights.

"Hands where I can see them and…" she stopped, stunned. _There are no wolves in New York City._ She thought. _There are no eight-foot tall wolves anywhere. There are no eight-foot tall wolves dressed like extras from a 1930s gangster movie. _They wore dark double-breasted suits with black shirts and white ties, with wide brimmed fedoras. They even wore white spats. _Who wears spats anymore?_ She wondered.

The wolves politely stood up. "Detective Kate Beckett, I presumes?" Said the middle wolf.

"How did you get into my apartment?" She demanded.

"We wuz comin' ta see youse an' da door was open. We decided ta stay in case some miscreant wuz trying to burgle youse."

"Do you expect me to believe that?" Kate said.

"Yes. Can youse prove we didn't do dat?" He smiled, showing an impressive set of fangs. "Allow me to innerduce meself. I yam Buggsy." He politely doffed his fedrora. "An' dis is me good pal Muggsy." The wolf on his left doffed his fedora. "Please ta meet youse." He said. "An' dis is me other good pal, Puggsy." The other wolf doffed his fedora as well. "A pleasure, I yam sure."

"You're wolves?" She asked, trying to think of a question that would make sense of this.

Buggsy shook his head. "We is Vorlags from da planet Vorlag. An' we is here ta help youse. We is in da ice cream bid'ness ourselves an' we can shed some light on da problems youses Earth people has been havin'."

Kate almost wished Castle was here. He'd know how to handle three massive aliens. Wouldn't he? She decided that trying to arrest the three extraterrestrials was not an option. And, they claimed to have information on the case she was working on.

"Okay, what do you have?"

"We'll have ta take youse ta Da Boss so's he kin explain it. Is youse ready ta go?"

"Where?"

"Just a short ride."

Wondering if this was a huge mistake, Kate nodded. "Okay."

Puggsy went to the door and opened it a crack, then inhaled deeply. "Da coast is clear, Buggsy. De're ain't no hoomans around."

They headed for the stairs and when Kate started to go down the stairs, Buggsy told her to go up. "Da car is onna roof." He explained.

Sure enough, a car was sitting on the roof. It looked like a very old Cadillac with, of course, gangster white sidewall tires.

Buggsy opened the passenger door for Kate. "Ladies foist, o' course, an' don't ferget ta put on youses seat belt."

"How are we going to get the car down to the…." Kate said no more as the car shot straight up at an amazing speed. She craned her head around and found she could see the whole globe of the Earth. Ahead of her, the Moon was seemingly approaching at a rapid speed.

"We're going to the Moon?" She gasped.

"Of course." Muggsy, who was driving, said. "We'll be dere in two shakes o' a drannit's tail."

Before Kate could wonder what a drannit was, or how fast its tail shook, the car, or spaceship, actually, went around to the far side of the Moon and descended.

"An' here we is." Buggsy said as they pulled into a well lit cave. "Watch youse's step. We don't have no grav bladders here in da garage, so da gravity is one sixth o' Earth's."

Kate was already heading to the roof of the cave when he said that, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her down. In a few steps she found her weight had returned to normal.

They went down a long hall and into a spartan office. There, an even bigger Vorlag awaited her. He was only about as tall as the other three, but he was nearly as wide as all three put together.

He held out his furry hand. "Hello dere. I yam Don Squeaky, da strong right paw an' consigliere ta Da Boss, Don Vorleone, da Vorlagfather."

"The Vorlagfather?" Kate questioned. _This couldn't possibly be happening._ She thought. _Could it?_


	2. Chapter 2

Good Golly, Miss Molly

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I not only don't own Castle, I don't own Farscape. Rating: K Time: Early season five of Castle.

**Author's note: The first fandom I ever wrote fanfic for was the Henson Company's Farscape some twenty years ago. So now I've written a Farscape/Castle crossover.**

"Ex-actly." Don Squeaky said. "Da Boss wants to see youse at once. Right tru dat door."

Kate wondered how she would open the door when it opened for her. Inside was a much more plush office, with thick carpeting on the floor and dark wood paneling. She could see a large wooden desk and someone, or something, was apparently behind it. She could hear music playing softly in the background. The music sounded familiar. "Verdi?" She said, almost without realizing it.

"Ah, a fan of opera." Said a deep, but melodious voice. "It's the overture to Rigoletto. Do you know it?"

Kate shook her head. "My mom used to listen to classical music on the radio. That's about all I know about it."

"Please, Detective Beckett, have a seat."

There was one human sized chair in front of the desk. Kate almost decided to stand, but sat. To her surprise, the chair rose in the air until she could see across the desk. Before her was a Vorlag dressed in a tuxedo with slicked back hair. He had a red flower as a boutonniere. Suddenly she realized where she had seen this before. It was the opening scene from the Godfather.

"You're Don Vorleone, the Volagfather?' She asked.

"Correct, Detective Beckett. But please excuse my lack of manners. Would you like some coffee? A grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla?"

Before Kate could say a word, a yellow machine of some sort appeared and put a cup before her. She tasted it. It was very, very good.

"Your…associates said that you had some information about the ice cream thefts on Earth." She suddenly realized that she had never referred to Earth as someplace else. She wished Castle was here. He'd love this.

"We have been unofficially trading Miss Molly's Gourmet Ice Cream for gold."

"There's been no gold found. Do you mean you've been stealing it? Taking it without permission? That's it. You and your whole…group are under arrest."

"I'm afraid you lack any authority to arrest anyone."

"I'm a New York police officer and you've committed a crime in New York. You're under arrest."

The Vorlag sighed. "Are you aware of the Treaty on Principals Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space, Including the Moon and Other Celestial Bodies, commonly called the Outer Space Treaty?"

Kate had never heard of it and said so.

"it's s treaty signed by your government in 1967, that among other things, precludes any Earth nation from claiming jurisdiction over space or any extraterrestrial bodies. In short, your own government says you have no jurisdiction here. I can call in my Vorlags-at-Law, Dewey, Cheatum and Howe if you need further proof. And you might consider the problems you'd have getting us back to Earth without our cooperation and the problems your government might have once we were there. And please recall that you were asked to come here because we said we could help you with your case."

Kate could just imagine what would happen if she somehow managed to bring extraterrestrials back to Earth. The government would probably ask them to steal ice cream. Just as with the case of Ben Davidson, who Kate knew had murdered his daughter's killer, she decided to let the law slide for a bit.

"What can you tell me?"

"A bit of background would be in order, I believe. We became acquainted with Earth's ice cream by accident some years ago. It became immediately popular. While there are many animals and plants that can be used to make ice cream, there is a certain appeal among the wealthy and powerful for authentic human made ice cream. Dominar Rygel of the Hynerian Empire is our biggest customer. As the ruler of some six hundred billion subjects he can well afford as much as we can provide him." Don Vorleone shook his head. "I have no idea how he puts away as much as he does as small as he is."

"But no matter. Our other main customers and the Scarrans. They have a problem with excess body heat and they like to "get cold" as they say in the vernacular. The Emperor Staleek is most unreasonable about our sales."

"Could we get to the part where you steal ice cream from Miss Molly?" Kate asked sarcastically.

"I was just getting to that. When we arrived here, we realized that simply going to a store and buying ice cream would be impossible. So, we improvised."

"I've never heard a crime described as improvisation before." Kate was still sarcastic.

"Whenever we _acquired_ some ice cream, we always left some gold in the cab of the vehicle as compensation. Imagine our surprise when we found out that the gold disappeared."

"I'm imagining it."

"However, we've decided to contact Miss Molly directly and arrange for a more traditional arrangement."

"Earth will go absolutely berserk when you arrive. You'll never get near her."

"But if we use a human go between?" The Vorlagfather said with a smile.

"You mean me? Absolutely not."

"Not you, Detective Beckett." The Vorlag looked at the door. "Don Squeaky, will you send our other guests in, please."

Two of the guests were human and one was a Vorlag. The man was thirtyish, good looking and blue eyed. He was dressed in black leather and had some sort of a weapon at his hip. The woman was also dressed in black leather. Tall, slender, blue eyed with long black hair and also with a weapon on her hip. The Vorlag was dressed like a human teenager. A backwards baseball cap, a Pink Floyd tee shirt, board shorts pulled down so you could see the Hanes logo on his underpants and very, very large athletic shoes.

"Hi, I'm John Crichton." The man said.

The name rang a bell with Kate. "Wait. John Crichton? You're the astronaut who was lost in space a dozen years ago."

"I wasn't lost in space. I knew exactly where I was." He said defensively.

"He just didn't know where anything else was." The woman said.

"Aeryn, honey…"

"There you go using that word again." The woman said. She turned to Kate. "As a human woman, can you see any reason to refer to your mate as "insect vomit?"

"Aeryn, it's just the translator microbes acting wonky."

"The proper translation is something sweet." Kate said.

"I'm a warrior. I don't do sweet." The woman, apparently named Aeryn, snapped.

"But you're human?"

The woman's eyes narrowed. "I'll assume you're not intentionally insulting me. I'm a Sebacean. But what would you call your mate?"

Strictly speaking Kate didn't have a mate, but she decided to ignore that. "I call him lover."

Aeryn looked at John with a smile. "At least the female humans are intelligent."

"So, you're married to a defective?" John asked, grinning.

"You've improved a great deal since we first met."

They were interrupted by the young Vorlag. "Hi, my name is Curly. I'm glad to meet you, Ms. Beckett." He held out his hand and Kate took it.

"Young Curly is our technical expert." Don Vorleone said. He pulled a pocket watch from his pocket. "And you four should be going. The ice cream truck will be leaving soon."

They began walking back the way Kate had come and found another vehicle beside the one she'd arrived it. This one was boxy and appeared rather crude.

"We're going in this?" Kate asked.

John Crichton nodded. "It may look like a hundred dollar pick up, but Curly has it running like a charm."

"Ms. Beckett, can you tell me why you humans make such cool stuff for your historical productions, such as light sabers, X-wing fighters, transporters, and Death Stars, but you never put anything into production?"

"Not now, Curly." Aeryn said. "We have a mission."

They all got in the space ship and Curly backed it out of the cave. "Don't worry." He said. "We actually have plenty of time."

Kate was curious about the other two. "How did you end up back at Earth?"

Crichton smiled. "We live on a Leviathan, a living space ship, name of Moya. Regrettably, she came down with a case of the Leviathan runs. Going at both ends, so to speak. As it happened our furry Little Caesar had the appropriate medicine, but he needed a favor. One thing about the Vorlagfather, if you need something, he either has it or knows a guy."

Kate smiled. "My boyfriend is famous for knowing a guy when we need something."

"Don Vorleone wanted to send John here all by himself." Aeryn said. "But I insisted on coming along. John's plans tend to be like those of Willy Coyote."

"Wile E. Coyote, Aeryn. Wile E. Coyote."

"That's what I said."

"Hey, Curly." John said. "Pay attention. We're over the freeway."

"They'll see us!" Kate yelled. "We're practically on top of the Miss Molly truck."

"Don't worry, Ms. Beckett. I turned the cloaking device on a long time ago. No one can see us."

"A cloaking device?"

"Just like those Romulans have. Once I knew it could be done, it wasn't too hard to figure out how to build one." Curly frowned. "Can you tell me where those Romulans live, Ms. Beckett? I can't find any mention of them on our star charts."

"I really don't know. But, how are we going to get the back of the truck open without damaging it?"

"I'll use the transporter." Curly said happily.

"Like on the Enterprise?" Kate said, hardly believing what she was saying.

"Exactly. Look behind you."

Kate looked back. The back of the ship was full of ice cream cartons.

"Now I'll use the transporter to send the gold to the truck's cab."

"Why didn't the camera pick that up before?" Kate asked.

"Oh, the camera in the cab is set to focus on the driver, not the seat beside him. If you'd like, I can have the truck's electrical system turn on and off. That'll stop him."

Curly did just that and the truck managed to pull off into a truck stop, parking as far from anyone as he could. Kate saw him get out and crawl under the truck. He emerged with four gallons of ice cream. The then went to the cab and pulled up the passenger side seat. From inside it he pulled out a cooler.

"That's it." Kate said. "Let me out."

A door opened and Kate dropped to the ground. "NYPD! Harry Grau, you're under arrest." She had both her badge and her Glock out.

Grau, a big man, looked at her, but decided to run. He tossed the cooler at her, which Kate dodged. "Give it up, Grau."

Grau was running right towards the cloaked spaceship. Suddenly Curly jumped out and let out a massive roar. Grau ran back to his truck, but Aeryn Sun was there before him.

"Outta my way, bitch, or you'll get hurt."

Aeryn raised an eyebrow. "Really?" As he moved toward her, Aeryn pantak jabbed him causing him to collapse. Aeryn just shook her head. "Males."

Kate cuffed Grau and then searched the truck, finding several small bars of gold. "I need to call this in."

"And we need to see a woman about some ice cream." John said.

Aeryn held out her hand and Kate shook it.

"I suppose you humans aren't so bad, if any are like you. I'd like to spend some time on Earth with you sometime." Aeryn said.

"Except we'd probably end up in a government cage somewhere in Area 51. But, as the great philosopher Leo Carrillo once said, "Let's went, Cisco."."

They all got in the ship and Kate was alone.

Grau didn't come to until he was in the holding cell. When he was taken to interrogation he began screaming when Kate came in. "Get her out of here! I'll make a statement, but not with her in the room."

Accordingly, Kate left and Ryan and Esposito took his statement while Kate and Captain Gates watched from behind the one-way glass.

When it was over, Gates shook her head. "That's almost bizarre enough to be one of Mr. Castle's stories."

"He did confess to stealing ice cream." Kate said.

"But only a few gallons at a time. He said he has no idea what happened to the fifty or so gallons what went missing a couple of times a week."

"He might have sold them." Kate said, hoping she sounded convincing.

"He was in debt to a bookie with a sweet tooth so he paid off his debt in ice cream."

"He wasn't exactly a high roller. He was never down more than forty or fifty dollars."

"But why sell the rest of the ice cream for gold?"

Kate shrugged. "Some people, doomsday preppers, don't trust paper money. Maybe he's one of them."

"And the rest of his story? Absurd. A giant wolf wearing a Pink Floyd tee shirt?"

"Maybe he's getting ready for an insanity plea. Although the biker chick is almost reasonable. I mean, I do ride a Harley, but I wasn't in my leathers."

"At least this is over, Detective Beckett. You can finish the paperwork tomorrow."

"Thank you, sir. I need to go to Miss Molly and tell her what happened."

Kate arrived at Miss Molly's building and was shown into her office. Miss Molly looked awfully subdued. "Detective Beckett, that is, Kate. I just had a couple visit me. A Mister Crichton and a Ms. Sun. They said they were friends of yours. And there was a …." She stopped, looking confused.

"A young fellow named Curly?" Kate finished for her.

"So, I'm not going insane. They really were here?"

"Yes, they were and I met them, too."

"Well, I have a most interesting offer to help finance a small expansion of my creamery. We'll need to train a half a dozen people or so, but it can be done. But to think…" Miss Molly looked up. Kate knew she was looking past the ceiling and into whatever was out there.

Molly shook her head to clear it. "I have a few quarts of some of the new flavors we're considering. Please take them home for you and Rick to enjoy. And let me know what you think of them."

When Kate arrived at her apartment, she noticed a box with a large bow on it. She examined it and found a note:

Dear Ms. Beckett,

I understand you and your boyfriend are fans of something called Star Wars, which is where light sabers come from. Accordingly, I made a pair for the two of you. Enjoy.

Sincerely yours,

Curly T. Vorlag

She opened the box. They certainly looked like light sabers. She picked one up. It felt like a light saber.

She heard a noise behind her. It was Rick using his key to come in. She put the light saber back and closed the box, standing between Rick, the ice cream and the light sabers.

"Hi, Beckett. I'm all done, a day early." He looked past her. "You got me something?" He walked over and looked over her shoulder. "Hey! Ice cream and…"He frowned. "Who's this Curly, Kate?"

_How am I ever going to explain this?_ She thought.

The End

**Author's note: Don Vorleone and his Family are actually pretty tame for Vorlags. Vorlags are known as the galaxy's biggest party animals. As John Crichton has famously said: "One Vorlag is a problem, two Vorlags is a party, three Vorlags is a Mardi Gras, four Vorlags is a riot, and five Vorlags is the end of civilization as we know it."**

**I'm still working on the sequel to Deadly Planet and on another story in the Adventures of Lord and Lady Castle in Renaissance Italy. But, next I've decided to write another military sci fi Caskett adventure, a darker story about vengeance. **


End file.
